What’s in a name?
The power of words in the realm of body size
Have you heard the phrase “sticks and stones will break my bones, but words will never hurt me”?
Such wishful thinking!
For many people living in larger bodies, words can cause deep and lasting emotional wounds. From the teasing taunts in the school yard to the offhand remarks of family members, our body size is commented on, judged or labelled in demeaning ways.
Perhaps you have been called “fatty”, “chunky”, described as having “big bones”? Or maybe you’ve heard something like “You’re not fat, you’re just a big girl” from someone trying not to offend. Though we may try to brush these comments off and forget about them, they often leave a stab of shame. If we’re already struggling with body image, such labels only serve to deepen our discomfort and self-loathing.
Larger bodies and medical language
In medical settings, the terms used to describe larger bodies often carry a sense of judgement. Hilary Kinavey and Dana Sturtevant, in their book “Reclaiming Body Trust”, talk about “O words” - “obese” and “overweight” - as “pathologising, stigmatising and not evidence based”. These labels imply that a person is outside the norm, with an underlying assumption that their health is automatically compromised. However, both terms are related to BMI, a concept which Kinavey and Sturtevant point out was not designed to be used as an indicator of health.
Reclaiming “Fat”
Then there’s the word “fat”? What do you feel when you hear it? What thoughts and sensations arise? For many, it’s a loaded word, often used in a derogatory way. But there are growing movements working to reclaim “fat” as a neutral descriptor of body size. People in these spaces are choosing to name themselves “fat” without shame or apology.
Choosing language with care
Language in this space is complex. When creating The Green Velvet Armchair, I gave a great deal of thought to the words I use to describe my work and the people I support.
I chose the term “larger bodies” because, to me, it feels as gentle, neutral and non-stigmatising as possible. I don’t typically use the word “fat” as it is still a highly charged word.
Healing from verbal “sticks and stones”
If you’ve been wounded by the words that others have used to describe your body – whether casually or cruelly – you are not alone. Together, we can begin to undo the sting of those messages, heal the shame and restore your sense of self-worth.